Dubious steampunk items for sale

Take steampunk. Move towards it's polar opposite. This item would be there.
Take steampunk. Move towards it’s polar opposite. This item would be there.

While procrastinating from my job that actually allows me to eat, I had a search through eBay with just one keyword: steampunk.

My aim was to find the most dubious articles I could that had been given a steampunk description. It’s no secret that sellers are using this new found keyword to widen their market in the hope that we’re stupid. It’s so nice to be second guessed by people who don’t really know the ins and outs of steampunk. If they do, they should know better than to label some of this stuff as steampunk:

Vintage - Steampunk - Gothic - Alternate - Handcrafted - Fashion Jewellery
Rhinestones and pebbles weren’t popular in the Victorian times. They’re not popular now.

Vintage 80s Steampunk Style Sunglasses Victorian Revival Tortoiseshell & Pewter

Rockabilly, Goth, Nautical and steampunk all in one useful description.
Rockabilly, Goth, Nautical and steampunk all in one useful description.
Please point to steampunk.
Please point to steampunk.
If it's not on a chain, I don't want to know.
If it’s not on a chain, I don’t want to know.
Don't say aaah. Don't encourage them.
Don’t say aaah. Don’t encourage them.
The most steampunk item in the article and it still makes me want to scream.
The most steampunk item in the article and it still makes me want to scream.
The description states this is 1950s steampunk. That.
The description states this is 1950s steampunk. That.
Primark: Your number one resource for steampunk clothing.
Primark: Your number one resource for steampunk clothing.
This is more 1980's than 1880's. Yet still looks more out of date.
This is more 1980’s than 1880’s. Yet still looks more out of date.
This is a jacket AND a shirt, according to the description.
This is a jacket AND a shirt, according to the description.
I'm unsure why steampunks get lumped in with zombie crowd.
I’m unsure why steampunks get lumped in with zombie crowd.
I'm unsure if I'm more offended by the steampunk or the goth tag? What have the goths ever done wrong to deserve this?
I don’t know if I’m more offended by the steampunk or the goth tag? What have the goths ever done wrong to deserve this?
...
The Airline pilot is a popular costume in steampunk.
The Airline pilot is a popular costume in steampunk.
These will look right at home on any Top Hat.
These will look right at home on any Top Hat.
Cherry pie is more popular in steampunk than rockabilly. Apparently.
Cherry pie is more popular in steampunk than rockabilly. Apparently.
What says steampunk more than an undecorated Playmobil Amish cart?
What says steampunk more than an undecorated Playmobil Amish cart?

2 thoughts on “Dubious steampunk items for sale

  1. Agreed, not steampunk, but that watch is pretty cool looking. Whether it’s also cool working is another story.

    Sadly, the adjective “steampunk” is being corrupted into something like “made of metal!” or “wears a top hat!” or “grey!” by those that don’t really understand the aesthetic.

    Just wait for the free-range, gluten-free steampunk items!

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