The Prime Minister today unveiled new plans to get the Northern Powerhouse back on track. In a press conference at Downing Street, Lady Riddington announced that after the setbacks of not finding the perfect location, a deal has been brokered with the city of Leeds to be converted into the new megafactory.
Much of the old city, that has stood since 1207 and has recently seen an increase in population numbers as well as trade, will be completely destroyed. However considering its location on the River Aire, being on the York to Chester route and that no-one really likes the place, the decision has been taken to demolish the whole area and build from scratch.
Adjusting her Voice Amplifying Communication Transmitter, Prime Minister Riddington said “Closing the gap between the North and South is in the party manifesto because it will play a major part in expanding the glorious British Empire. That is why today I pledge to get the plans for the Northern Powerhouse back on track. Britain is and always shall be the greatest Empire in the World. The Northern Powerhouse will ensure it’s longevity and bring much needed jobs into the construction of the factory and its subsequent workforce.”
The first phase of the demolition of Leeds will begin in Spring 1889. Once Phase One is complete, Phase Two will commence while building work starts on the site of Phase One. There are twelve phases in total. Once built, the factory will have a floorplan of 341miles² to provide steel, cotton, meat and steam to the far edges of the Empire.
The visionary of the Northern Powerhouse factory, Lord Reginald Flattulents said “This will be the largest factory anywhere in the world and will be a shining beacon of light illustrating the British determination to be the best through steam power, hard work, dedication and child labour.”
Speaking from their headquarters, the British Tea Company spokesperson Mrs Gloria Plumm said “We’re looking forward to the construction of this exciting new phase in British history. British Tea will be on hand to keep the thirst of our hard working factory staff at bay with our vast range of products. There will even be a discount. For the first week.”
It has been rumoured for some time that the British Tea Company in fact financed the whole project. One journalist from the Pandora Society put this to Mrs Plumm and it was strictly denied. The journalist was then promptly removed by BTC security personnel. He’s not been seen since.