Scientists at the Nottingham Excursion Research Department have voiced concerns regarding the trans dimensional rift between the futuristic Oilpunk universe and what they call our Steampunk universe. The team in Nottinghamshire are one of the leading research groups studying the … Continue reading Scientists to close trans dimensional rift because Oilpunk universe is “too weird”
Mars has always been a distant dream for aspiring æthernauts. A yearning for understanding the universe around us has meant that we look to the stars and wonder in awe at what is out there. As the closest planet to … Continue reading No need to save Earth, we can simply move to Mars (SATIRE)
You will all now be familiar with our incredible exposé on Professor Elemental that we published recently. You can read part one and part two here: Professor Elemental – THE TRUTH Pt. 1 Professor Elemental – THE TRUTH Pt.2 It … Continue reading Professor Elemental writes letter to Steampunk Journal
In this final episode, our intrepid reporter managed to secure an audience with Professor Elemental. Though only lasting a few minutes, the torturous interview seemed to drag on for an eternity. Read on to discover the truth about this frankly bizarre member of the British elite. Continue reading “Professor Elemental – THE TRUTH Pt. 2”
Professor Elemental has been a well known face on the steampunk music circuit since 1878 when he dropped his steampunk anthem album The Indifference Engine on us. Since then his popularity has grown thanks to his humourous lyrics, dope beats and phat rhymes. With an amiable demeanour, candid personality and charismatic nature, he’s a must-have artist at any steampunk event worth it’s salt. However Steampunk Journal has learned the truth about the “good professor” and we have managed to learn information that will rock the chap hop industry to its core. In this explosive dossier we will reveal how he:
- Uses animals for dissection and vivisection in sordid experimentation
- Relieves himself in a teapot while singing “Cup of gold joy” wearing nothing but a Union Jack Mankini and a poncho that he stole from a small child in American Adventure
- Claims to be a steampunk while redacting information to the contrary
- Spent several years touring the Eastern Bloc as the “Oil Boy” with Small Fry – a team of nomadic chef dwarfs
The Professor has been at the top of the steampunk music chain for far too long and monopolising the industry using smear campaigns in the form of diss songs, holding prestigious parties at his country pile giving free access to steampunks to keep them sweet and even altering time while dressing it up as searching for a missing Ape. Continue reading “Professor Elemental – THE TRUTH”
An Octopus has spoken out over a recent news story depicting it as a brutal, murderous harbinger of death when in actual fact it was simply trying to stay alive. Continue reading “Octopus wrongly accused of murder”
Gothic Victorian fantasy programme Penny Dreadful has won an award from Steampunk Journal today, it was revealed. The award is for the most amount of articles written about the fact that their will never be a fourth series of the … Continue reading Penny Dreadful wins award for most amount of misleading articles
Herbal tea was at the centre of a renewed wave of angry queueing outside Whitehall today, it has been revealed. Members of the public were seen shaking their heads, grumbling and frustratedly looking at their watches. In the meantime, the line of people swelled to over a hundred.
Everyday people dressed in long clothing, fake guns and funny hats are actually voluntarily going to an Asylum this weekend. Several months ago, a researcher working on the trans-dimensional rift project accidentally made us known to the “Oilpunk” universe. In an incident involving a half eaten cucumber sandwich which was dropped on a control panel, single direction viewing was disabled.
Ever since that fateful day, we have been in constant communication with the people on the “other side”. Oilpunks will hold a grand festival in their version of Lincoln this weekend, it has been revealed. Continue reading “Public surprised as crazy people go to Asylum”
After the recent exit from the Empire – dubbed Crexit – British steampunks have remained terribly polite to people from the commonwealth countries who are residing in Britain, it’s been revealed. Speaking from an unknown location, Lady Emilia Von Poppetart … Continue reading Steampunks remain awfully polite after Crexit